Condemnation vs. Conviction

I feel the need to carry on this conversation from my bible study this morning to the blog this afternoon. It’s an interesting topic, and I think many women struggle with this…

I don’t know why or how, but I have morphed my poor soul into a guilty conscience. I can make the much-used reason that “I grew up Catholic,” but I think society in general is constantly condemning us. This 100 lb monkey-on-my-back is forever slowing my step. It hinders my growth, it keeps me from succeeding (does the term, “It doesn’t really matter, anyway?” ring a bell to anyone else?), and it keeps me from Joy—and I love Joy.

I will not condemn myself for making wrong decisions in my past, treating my husband poorly during hunting season, not responding to phone calls or emails in a timely manner, indulging in the Mocha MooLatte from DQ, etc. And the list goes on because I can think of a million matters to feel guilty about, mostly because I feel like I under-perform in EVERYTHING I do (is anyone else a sour perfectionist?). Nothing I do is good enough for me. My shoulders literally feel a 100 lb lighter: I can feel Convicted instead of Condemned. Oh My Gosh!!! And I am not a bad person for not guilting myself into a doom-centered stupor!!! I don’t have to relive past moments that undefined me!!! I really can let them go! Isn’t this what God tells us to do???

We are not going to ruin our lives if we let go of our guilt that we think is fueling our drive. In fact, this guilt is self-sabotaging our creative forces to succeed. Ever try to lose weight by ‘guilting’ yourself into not eating sweets? You can bet that weight won’t drop or stay off. Ever try to get your hunter husband to stay home by giving him a ‘guilt trip?’ You can bet that he still leaves, and if he does stay home it won’t be a pleasurable experience. Guilting yourself and others into action doesn’t work!!! I am convicted of this !!!

And somehow, I can say and mean “I’m sorry” to pretty much anything that happens to anyone. Can a phrase get any more self-depracating??? My husband has a hectic day at work, and I say “I’m sorry.” My daughter bumps her head and I say “I’m sorry.” My fellow Hunting Widow has a fight with her hunter husband and I say “I’m sorry.” Well, I am turning a new leaf: I’m NOT sorry. I will empathize and help analyze, but I will not be sorry. Now the big question is what words to replace this phrase with… “That is really frustrating, I understand how you feel,” and “What can I do to help?”

So, for starters, I am a true blue Hunting Widow. Do I feel sorry for myself? No. But I can say to myself “What can I do to help?” Now, do I feel sorry for other Hunting Widows? Sorry—No. “That is really frustrating, I understand how you feel”—Yes!!! I empathize with them, and I hope that this lifestyle brand will help them get over any sour feelings of resentment-then-guilt they have towards the Hunters in their lives. Our point is to empower Hunting Widows to become much more than the woman left at home. Let’s use this unique lifestyle as an opportunity!!!